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"Here, take my hand, just do it, do it now."
It is warm and slick and a bit slimy like a belly full of steaming fish guts. She hates herself for thinking thoughts like this but it's her mind, her little girl mind she tells herself when she's older she won't think nonsense, all her destructive and violent ideas will disappear or belong to another girl.
Her father says where they're going is a surprise, but she doesn't like surprises. Her mother's boyfriend, his naked buttocks flashing sweaty and pale, angry buttocks, busy buttocks moving over her mother, trying to eat her mother, that was a surprise and she did not like it one bit.
"But school's not out yet," she says. He's walking too fast and tugging her hand as if it's a wagon handle. "I called for an early release, what do you think?" he says. His words are blunt, flyswatter slaps, smacking her cheeks. She feels her face flush. She is always embarrassed or ashamed, is there a difference, all these secrets she's forced to keep, stuffed inside her, like eating bugs alive for a reality show, eat a pan full and swallow and don't get sick is how you win.
NEXT
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