THE VOICE OF ADDICTION

Essay by Rochelle Germany 

It wasn't the first hit that enslaved me, or even the second or third hit for that matter. For me, the process of addiction happened so gradually that it went unnoticed until it became the only thing that I could see. That moment, that initial recognition of the unbearableness of a life lived devoid of it. That instance where whatever it takes is pushed to its breaking point, because the choice is made to refuse to exist in its absence, this is the place where my addiction made itself known to me.
     She weaved herself into my sense of sound whispering softly, sensually in a tone so hypnotic that I had no choice but to do as she said.
     "Why don't you show me something?" The words slipped from her mouth, coated with desire and it began.
     I eagerly granted her request, unable to exercise enough restraint to cause her to restate her demands. I was lost in her, high off of her, my sense of self overpowered by a need to do whatever she wanted, however she wanted it done. As sex harmonized with adoration to sing to me her commands I found myself hooked because I am both, unable and unwilling to let go of the feeling that she gives me.     NEXT